Pink and Silver
by madrox23
Summary: "This was the moment I had been preparing for, for days now. Three weeks of being nothing but a shell of who I used to be. A full week of curling and curling more to try and contain what was left of myself. It all comes down to my decision now." Haku/Luka yuri or shoujo -ai Luka POV ABANDONED BECAUSE OF NO REVIEWS
1. Hurting

A/N welcome to the newest installment of my failed attempts at writing something decent in recent times. Anyway, you're all here and I am going to do something I've never done before! I am going to pimp out a story called "Glass Slipper" by **sugarstarcherry. **It's pretty good and Miku/Rin however it certainly does not get the traffic or reviews it should so I am going to try and direct my small audience to it. Go check it out! It's awesome and deserves to be seen. :)

Enjoy

* * *

It had started out as a small prick every now and then at my heart. I suppose it was the shock that helped me runaway and hide from the pain that I knew was there. It also gave me an excuse to hide away from what used to be my family. I don't call them so anymore but they still do. My cold persona made it an easy cover for my sudden retrieval into myself. I was once again Megurine Luka, "Ice princess of the Vocaloids", and had fooled myself into thinking I was strong. I was never anything but pathetic, was back then, am right now.

I had fooled myself but still I noticed small changes of myself over a small bit of time. At first it was just harder to get up in the morning, or my shoulders and posture sagging like they never have before. Still none really noticed or let on if they did. Then they became more profound. I would appear from the confines of my room less, eat less – I was known for ravenous appetite – and even performed less. The fans were not happy about that last one. My housemates would give me concerned looks or offer an ear if anything was wrong. They had no idea.

The day it all – I – came came crashing down was two weeks after the incident. My hard outer shell crumbled into itself and only unveiled a hollow of a person. I cried so much that night I hadn't realized I had cried myself to sleep, that is until Haku was knocking at my door. Her small voice saying that breakfast was downstairs if I wanted it. I felt something tug in my chest. Haku was one of the few to not have given up on me yet.

After that it seemed like I was crying all the time. I left my room less and less and I appeared to the public less and less. By then Haku, Meiko, Miku, and Gakupo stopped being passive and took action every time I would leave the safety of my room. Actively inviting me to do things with them like going out for karaoke singing or a bite to eat – eating for me in general was something that was more rare than I would like to admit. Every time I got into the adjoining shower in my room, I noticed I that more and more of my used to be toned muscle was disappearing. Being replaced – or rather the lack of – by bones and continuously paling skin.

All of their attempts however were sadly for naught. Even Miku's proposals didn't even cause a stir in me, despite the massive rumor that we were a couple. I just couldn't go outside anymore., and by that I mean leaving my room felt like suicide. I am terrified of leaving the confines of my room for fear of seeing something that would remind me of her. Which is actually pretty dumb seeing as how _everything_ in my room did exactly that. But in a way it's also because of that reason that I don't want to leave. I feel safe in here, surrounded by things that we held dear together.

I clutched my golden sheathed pillow tighter to my chest and curled further into a ball. Maybe if I curl far enough my soul won't leave like she did.

Tch. Who am I kidding?

I loved her. This is where many people would say "so much" but I don't think that's needed. I loved her. It's all that needed to be said and it was simple. Just like the life we wanted but didn't ever get to have. Her family hated us. I know it even though I had only met them once. They screamed and threatened but still she went to them every month to try and convince them. Her family hit her. I know it because every time she came back she was sensitive to my touch anywhere. It help that I'm not blind, I saw those purple marks that shown through make-up when we would make love.

I was the lucky one with no family to disappoint. My parents died in the September Eleventh Attacks when I was thirteen. My brother knew about me all along and never wanted anything to do with me. I only took one trip to the memorial where all the names were inscribed to say my goodbyes and "I'm sorry", three years ago. I say I was lucky because I knew well their opinions of "my kind".

While thinking of all this, I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I heard the booming voice of Gakupo, demanding I leave my room and "have some damned fun". I suppose now should be the time I reveal to them what I have been pondering for the last few days. I leave my room and am greeted by the surprised faces of Gakupo, Meiko, and Haku. I furrowed my pink brows, "Don't act like someone just raised from the dead," I muttered while ducking my head and making my way past them.

"Not far from it." I heard Gakupo say under his breath. I frowned and ignored him, turning to the sake drinking woman.

"Meiko?"

"Hm? What is it Luka?"

"Can you gather everybody in the living room, please?"

The brunette gave me a quizzical look but nodded nonetheless, "Sure."

.

.

.

So here I am, standing in front of the people that are called my family. This was the moment I had been preparing for, for days now. Three weeks of being nothing but a shell of who I used to be. A full week of curling and curling more to try and contain what was left of myself. It all comes down to my decision now. These people have been there for me for almost eight years, and I do truly feel sad about having to do this. But I think it's what is best for me, one of the very few selfish acts in my life.

For this reason I fix my eyes on them. Standing a little straighter and a little stronger than I feel. I look them all in the eyes as the two little words that will change my life leave my lips.

"I quit."

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Can any of you give me some feedback on how I am doing for writing in the first person? I don't normally do so and I'm wondering if I do it badly. Hope yah enjoyed it either way.


	2. Gone

Silence pervaded the air as I let them take in the words I had just said. Sure, they were only two words but words alone are worthless, context can make them mean so much more. The Vocaloid family merely stared at me. Eyes wide - even mouths open - and not a sound pierced the heavy silence. The afternoon sun streaming through the windows making the large room feel stuffy. Some people may ask, "Why wouldn't you just leave? Why bring it to their attention when they might try to stop you?" I did it this way because I love them. Sure it would have been easier on me to just leave, but it would have been so much worse for them. Not knowing why – or maybe even when – and not being able to say goodbye. Closure is important for any relationship to end healthily. I may be pathetic but I am no coward.

Miku is the first to break the silence, "What?" she squeaked. Looking directly into my eyes, with tears falling down her cheek, I doubt she even knew she was crying.

"I quit," I repeated.

"You're lying!" An outraged Kagamine Rin shouted, tears also in her eyes but not falling.

"It's the truth," I said evenly, no longer looking them in the eyes. I can't take the overwhelming sorrow flooding from them. "I'm leaving."

Getting to her feet in a flash I was unexpectedly hit by a silver haired woman as she cried into my shoulder and clutched me around the waist. "Why," she rasped, "why do you want to leave?"

It was almost unbearable to me, listening to my closest friend cry on my shoulder, wondering why I no longer wanted to be around her. I sighed and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. My heart is hurting, I never thought it possible for my heart to hurt anymore, but I know this is for the best. "It's not so much that I want to leave, so much as I need to leave." I paused a moment to try and compose my quickly crumpling expression, I couldn't show them how much I actually don't want to leave. "I need a change of … scenery. This place holds only harmful memories now, and I think it would help to get away."

At these words the Haku perked up just the slightest bit, hope creeping into her wine colored eyes. "So, y-you're not leaving as in forever, right? You won't actually be quitting for good, just taking a vacation."

The pressure on my lower back where she was clutching me increased as I shook my head, my pink locks swaying to and fro. "I am quitting. Permanently. I'm not going to sing anymore and I don't know if I'm going to come back anytime soon. I'm moving on, I guess you could say." No one is happy to hear the whole thing, that this is not temporary. The woman in my arms resigned herself to buying her head back into my shoulder and hiccuped, tightening her grip on my waist. "I'm sorry," I whispered to her. I truly am, I know this is hurting them and especially her. Ever since Neru left the house Haku gravitated to me and I to her ever since . . .

I shook my head to stop that train of thought right there. I swallowed the slight lump in my throat and dropped my arms from around the silver haired young woman – whom refused to let go of me. Why is she taking this so hard? I knew it would be bad but this? It's almost like a child being torn away from its' mother. _'I don't like that picture, not at all.'_ I tried to pull her arms from around my waist but she held on tight and shook her head whimpering into my chest. I sighed slightly, "Haku, you have to let go. I can't be late for my flight."

This made everyone forget their sorrow for a second to give me questioning stares, Haku included. I just shrugged," Technology is amazing these days." And is it isn't the truth, I booked a ticket on my phone within fifteen minutes.

"Please promise you'll come back!" the woman in my arms pleaded. She is still holding onto me for dear life and a grief stricken expression that would cause pity in a killer.

"I'll try. That's all I can promise right now," I responded honestly. If I were to ever come back here, Haku would be the only one able to tip that decision. The woman only nodded and while she no longer has me in a death embrace, she still interlaced her fingers with mine to stand beside me. This was normal so none thought it was strange, I propped a pink brow at her though. Her cheeks tinted pink and she said, "Don't you need some help packing? Ya'know, if you want to catch your flighty in time?"

I shook my head, "Already packed." She looked crestfallen at this and I ran my hands though my hair. "I guess it wouldn't hurt for a quick double check." I said turning my head away and ignoring the very slight warmness in my cheeks. A small smile creeped itself onto her lips and she looked at me hopefully. I sighed again and turned around heading to my room. Haku wasn't happy about the loss of contact so when we rounded the corner I interlaced our fingers again.


	3. How it all began

A/N Special update for my good friend and kouhai Anna-chan. Happy sweet sixteen! ^D^

P.s. This chapter was written while listening to Deathklok's "The deathalbum II" I had no idea that death metal could produce such fluffy yuri. 0.o

Enjoy!

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After double checking my luggage – which really wasn't much more than clothes – and having my shirt soaked with tears, mostly from Haku, Miku, and the Kagamine twins, I finally made it into the confines of the taxi cab. The only question that remains now is; what am I going to do now? I have asked this question many times now and it's scary that I still am not sure of the answer. Well, I know _what_ I _want _to do I'm just not sure _how_ I'm going to make it happen. I need to have very impressive scores on the entrance exams for going to the college I want to.

The problem with that? I haven't been to an actual school in over seven years – even more if you count for consistently going. I stared down at my hands in my lap and furrowed my brows, disappointed. Twenty-four years old and I don't even have a high school diploma. People think I am so intelligent and probably think I have been to a college. I've never even set foot on one. I sighed; I'm not smart and have never claimed to be, my fans seem to have gotten it into their heads I am though somehow. My mind filled with silver at that thought. Haku has gone to a college, has a degree – even if it's only a two year one – it's more than what I have; and that's nothing at all. I chuckled, I guess that's true now more than ever.

I arrived at the airport and received my ticket, it felt heavy somehow. Like it is trying to weigh me down to keep me here. I shook my head, such fanciful thoughts are only distracting. The clouds were dark, and the only light in the sky are the stars as I fly away from the place I once called home. I lay back in my seat, attempting to obtain some semblance of slumber as my heart is inexplicably trying to tug me back down . . .

oOo

"_Luka-chan, Luka-chan!" A voice called from behind me. I turned to see the friend who's room I am currently attempting to visit. Her golden hair swayed as she came to a stop in front of me, smiling happily. I silently raised a pink brow at my best friend. "Miki asked me to go to the summer festival with her!" My blonde friend proclaimed to me excitedly. _

"_That's great Lily," I said evenly and nodding to her with a small smile. She seemed a bit disappointed at that. The blonde woman still held her smile but her eyes were no longer shinning with something I couldn't identify. I turned around towards the direction of my room, no longer needing to speak with her, the question on my tongue had already been answered. _

"_Hey, Luka-chan?" I heard from behind me again._

_I turned to my best friend, "Hm?"_

"_Who are you going with," she asked me innocently._

_I chuckled and shook my head, "I do don't do festivals."_

_This response seemed to sadden her more and I really did not like that look on her face. She should always be smiling, should always be happy. I inwardly sighed,_ 'I'm such a teenager.' _"Oh, so __you're not going?" she responded crestfallen._

_I slowly shook my head for an affirmation and studied her reaction. Lily seemed like she really wants me to go . . . "I'm sorry," I offered. "I just don't like crowds of people close to me." I scratched the back of my head, "Plus I would be such a bore around festivities, I prefer to just do something boring like reading," I added._

_She furiously shook her head at this, her golden locks swaying to and fro. "I think you would have a lot of fun! Sometimes people need to relax too ya'know, even you."_

"_Are you implying I'm uptight?" I questioned, a grin tugging at my lips._

"_Not at all, I'm _saying_ you _are_ uptight," she teased lightly, grin also on her lips._

"Gee thanks 'best friend'." Her grin widened, that's where it's supposed to be.

"_All I'm saying is that working too much is bad for your health, and as your best friend it is my duty to make sure you only hurt your health in a fun way; mostly through the consumption of questionable drinks." She winked at me and her grin turned into a broad smile as I chuckled and smiled at her joke. "Also," she continued, "we could go together . . . if you want." She finished shyly looking down._

"_I thought you were going with Furukawa-san?" I asked tilting my head to the side, although I wasn't happy about it, I still couldn't keep from smiling at Lily. She just does that to me. _

"_I said Miki asked me, not that I accepted, " she clarified, "also she really only wants to go with Gumi but her and Rin are already set up." _

_I raised a pink eyebrow, I am not one for gossiping and what was going on with whose life is something I never cared for. Only Lily, Miku, Meiko, and Haku ever acquired my genuine concern. "I see," is all I respond. "Well if you insist on going and are sure Furukawa-san won't be angry with me, I suppose I can go with you."_

_I am soon – and quite unexpectedly – hit with a golden haired woman beaming like a kid on Christmas and hugging me tightly, "Thank you Luka-chan!"_

_I patted her back, "Yeah, yeah no problem."_

_oOo_

_I now stand in front of the full body mirror, clad in only my undergarments. I am trying to decide which kimono I should wear. After a few minutes of deliberation I decided on a traditional gold kimono with pink inlay on the sleeves and at the bottom. The design consisted of scattered Sakura petals blending with the gold background. The symbolism between my desire and my preference for this particular choice in garb is not lost on me._

_I soon left the safe confines of my room and headed toward the festival. It was being held near the Shinto shrine with many small booths and stands for food and various games spread about the area. I gasped when I felt a pair of arms snake themselves around my waist and a very warm, soft, and curvy body pressing into my back. "You look so beautiful tonight, Luka-chan." A voice velvety smooth voice purred into my ear. _

_I contained my happiness and simply rolled my eyes, "Lily, let go people will start to think things."_

_Lily rested her head on my shoulder, beside my head. "That's ridiculous, friends can't even hug anymore?" She buried her face into my neck, effectively hiding it in my hair. She inhaled and I had to stand rigid to keep a shudder within, "Besides, I don't care. I love my best friend and no way am I going to let some idiots stop me from showing her," she breathed against my skin._

_I shifted on my feet slightly; Lily is treading dangerous territory in her words. I absolutely cannot get my hopes up. "Yeah, I guess . . ."_

_For the next few hours Lily and I visited station after station, getting various food items – which to my dismay included tako, to which Lily couldn't stop herself from teasing – and playing various games. I won a golden stuffed teddy bear for my best friend and she won me a character based on me . . . and my hair, named Tako Luka. Lily had a field day with that one. Despite the unending teasing I was enjoying myself the whole time. Lily was smiling, her bright blue eyes sparkling with joy compelled me to smile with her as well. Our fingers were always interlaced, it made a feeling swell in my chest that I recognized as truly being happy and at peace. _

_Eventually the sky changed from shootings reds and oranges to inky purples and blacks. The stars and moon keeping the festivities slightly illuminated. The fireworks would start soon. "Ne, ne, Luka-chan?" _

_I turned to look at the golden haired woman to meet her eyes, there was a distinct shine to them and that smile of hers. I returned the smile, "Hm?"_

"_Want to go watch the fireworks together?"_

_I giggle, the slightly unfamiliar feeling bubbling from my chest causing her smile to widen so that her eyes crinkled at the sides. "How else would we watch them except together?" _Crap, I slipped on that one.

_Lily blushed and nodded, "Of course." That shining smile never leaving her face._

_Maybe . . ._

_No, I absolutely can't let my hopes get up, absolutely not._

_oOo_

_We eventually found a quiet spot on a grassy hill behind the shrine. I looked around, a lot of couples had chosen this spot. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Kagamine Rin and Megpoid Gumi together in the distance as well. The golden haired woman holding my hand sat down, silently tugging foe me to do the same. AS soon as I complied Lily lowered her head into my lap, never letting go my hand. She placed it over her stomach and interlaced our fingers, closing her eyes as she did so. I felt the need to stroke her hair and hesitated for just a second before doing so. I watched on as all traces of strain leaver body, replacing it with a blissful smile. _

"_Beautiful," I breathed. Not even noticing the single word had escaped my thoughts._

"_She opened her eyes and smiled up at me, my heart flew and my breath caught, "I know you are."_

_I slowly shook my head never breaking our gaze. My hand moved from stroking her hair to cupping Lily's cheeks and using the pad of my thumb. I shook my head again and lowered it, closing my eyes. No, this is going to far and I am losing too much control. I began to stand up and stop everything but her hold on my right hand tightened. She stared hard at me, "Don't go," she said, her voice strained. Seeing her beautiful countenance express strained and displeased tugged my heart to sit down again, but my mind reminds me that I'm losing it. Despite this doubt I nodded and returned to my position. _

_I didn't know what to so with my hand but apparently it knew what it wanted to do. Before I realized it my hand was again stroking her cheek. Lily pulled herself up to sit in my lap and wrap her arms around my neck. Her side was to my front and took my face in her hands, looking at me with great worry marring her features. "What is it?"_

_Lily stared at me for a second, searching my face, I never noticed how sad you look," she whispered, pain tainting her voice._

_I was taken by this, "I have no idea what you mean," I said turning my hea to the side. Her hands stiffened to stop the motion though and wouldn't allow me to break her gaze. I felt exposed and somehow vulnerable, not able to hid anything from her concerned gaze. I felt my bottom lip tremble and tears coming to my eyes, I cursed my limited will. Before I could do anything about them I felt the tears escape and I broke her grasp. Before I could get up and away from the object of the object of these unbearable feelings Lily pushed me onto the soft grass. _

_I couldn't question or protest as her hand locked into mine and our lips met. My body trembled from the overload of sensations and emotions tearing themselves through my body in that moment. She pulled back to look down, "I'm sorry," she whispered, regret clear in her voice, taking my reaction as one of rejection. I shook my head furiously and wrapped my arms around my love's neck, no way was I going to let her escape. _

_I pulled Lily back down and kissed her with all of the love I could muster, I wanted her to know exactly what this is for me. She pressed herself flush against my body and tightening her grip on my hand to kiss back with just as much love flowing into me. I felt tears on my face again but not from sadness, they were tears o f pure sweet relief and unbridled happiness. My chest swelled again as an inexplicable wave of pure feeling roared from me and I couldn't keep inside any longer. "I love you Lily!" I cried though my tears and our kisses. _

_Lily nodded, tears in her eyes as well. She opened her mouth but we were both startled our of world by the thunder of fireworks. We looked back to each other and collapsed into a fit of giggles and giddy, euphoric laughter. She smiled brightly down to me with all her teeth, "I love you too Luka."_


End file.
